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The Life You Always Wanted Does Not Include Them

admin — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Sometimes, as we get further along into a relationship, we realize that the person we thought was the perfect match does not share our dreams or goals, and we are left with two choices. Either we must relinquish the life we always dreamed we would have, or we have to cut ties with that person in order to have the life we want.

It can be hard to realize that the life we always wanted does not include them. Often, though we may not realize it, we have painted that person in the light we wanted to see them in. We were so in love and so blinded by it. They, in turn, pretended to be what they perceived we would like. In response, we subconsciously determined what it was they liked and became that ideal.

This could only have lasted for so long. After a short or long time, depending upon how large the mutually constructed facade has become, we will come to realize that we are not what we have perceived each other to be. No matter how in love we are, if we are truly not compatible with each other, the relationship will only work if one or the other of the partners maintains a lie. So, as sad as it might be, we eventually find out that the life we always wanted does not include them.

5 Great Ways To Rediscover Your Single Life

admin — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000

After a break up things can get complicated. During this time it is easy to fall for someone else on rebound. The best way to get a handle on this situation before it gets out of hand is to re-evaluate your priorities. There are 5 great ways to rediscover your single life.

1. Do not commit to a serious relationship with anyone. People you have just ended a relationship is emotionally vulnerable. Guard your heart.
2. Do not accept dates right away. Instead reinvent yourself. Do something for yourself that is long overdue. Get a new makeover, a go back to school.Additional information can be found at http://hafsakhwaja.wordpress.com/2011/09/25/regret/.
3. Take time out for yourself. Plan a long trip. Visit friends or family for a week or two. Time away from the situation at hand, gives you enough time to heal and see things from a different angle.
4. Focus on what is best for you. Set new goals for your new life. You are now in charge of your destiny, make the best of it.
5. No regrets. Do not look back at ‘what if’s’. This is your chance to evaluate your life and decide which direction you need to go in, to make life better for you.

Does This Breakup Have Any Chance Of Being Mended?

admin — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Breakup’s can be hard, and sometimes you are unsure if you can mend the relationship that you had prior to ending the relationship. The first thing you must do is evaluate the situation. Ask yourself if you are truly interested in making the relationship work, meeting your partners needs, and if you can really get over the reason that the two of you broke up. Next you need to see if your partner is even interested in getting back into a relationship with you, or if they want to try to work on things. Unless the two of your are both committed it will never work.

Why did the two of you break up? If this is a problem do to careers, location or family then the odds are that it will not work again. If the ending was over silly fight, misunderstanding or lack of communication than the two of you may still be able to have something special together. Talk with your partner to see what is going through their head a few days after the break up. Often people need a little bit of time to get some clarity, and to see what they really want. You can miss something unless its gone, and maybe that’s what you both need.

How Soon To Wait Before Starting To Date Again?

admin — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 00:00:00 +0000

You just went through a breakup and have had your heart smashed. Breakups can shake you to your core and make you feel like you never want to even try to date anybody else ever again but the truth is, with time, you will probably be thinking differently.

There is no exact formula for when you will be ready to start dating again. Everybody is different. A time of mourning after a breakup is normal. Taking some time alone to reflect on your past is healthy, as long as it doesn’t go on for an extraordinarily long time. Here are some questions you can ask yourself before you jump back into the dating pool:

Have you made peace with the breakup?
Would you consider getting back together with your ex?
Can you see a picture of your ex and not be bitter?

Reaching the point where you are comfortable talking about your past relationship with no bitterness or regret is a good indication that you might be ready to start dating again. It is a terrible cliche but time does heal all wounds. Even wounds of the heart that you think you will never get over will feel better after some time has passed.