One of the possible casualties from a failed marriage that ended in divorce might be the relationship you had with your in laws. While some in laws may understand the reasons behind your divorce, others may be emotionally upset, particularly if the break-up with your spouse was contentious. Adding to the complexity may be any children produced in the marriage.
So what are some tips on dealing with the in laws after a bitter break up? Normally, no matter who is at fault in the divorce, your spouse’s parents will rally to support your ex and will take their side. The best thing to do us to take the high road; let them know that you understand their feelings and let them vent their anger. Be completely open and honest about what you feel were your failings in the marriage. They may not forgive you, but at least you stepped forward to clear the air and put the ball in their court. You’ll feel better about the situation.
If there are children and grandparental visitations are involved, let them know that you’ll make your children accessible to them. Your relationship with them most likely will never be cordial, but try to avoid the raw emotions that are produced in these situations and be as rational as possible.
If consistent contact with your in laws is required, establish some ground rules both parties can live with. Should bitterness and anger continue for any length of time it may be advisable to eliminate all contact with them. Some people have the capacity to hold grudges indefinitely.
Try to be patient with your ex and in laws as you build your new life, and focus on those things that bring happiness and good health. Over time, most of the emotional wounds will heal.